Ok, ok, granted. This is not the sort of humor to be displayed here, so I dare the female readers to post me a sick alternative.

Why do men die first? This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries, but, now we know. It requires a bit of explanation, first:

  • If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race … you’re a male chauvinist. If you stay home and do the housework … you’re a pansy.
  • ┬áIf you work too hard … there’s never any time for her. If you don’t work enough … you’re a good-for-nothing bum.
  • If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay … this is exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay … you should get off your lazy behind and find something better.
  • If you get a promotion ahead of her … that is favoritism. If she gets a job ahead of you … its equal opportunity.
  • If you mention how nice she looks … its sexual harassment. If you keep quiet … its male indifference.
  • If you cry … you’re a wimp. If you don’t … you’re an insensitive bastard.
  • If you make a decision without consulting her … you’re a chauvinist. If she makes a decision without consulting you, she’s a liberated woman.
  • If you ask her to do something she doesn’t enjoy … that’s domination. If SHE asks you … it’s a favor.
  • If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear … you’re a pervert. If you don’t … you’re gay.
  • If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape … you’re sexist. If you don’t … you’re unromantic.
  • If you try to keep yourself in shape … you’re vain. If you don’t … you’re a slob.
  • If you buy her flowers … you’re after something. If you don’t … you’re not thoughtful.
  • If you’re proud of your achievements … you’re full of yourself. If you don’t … you’re not ambitious.
  • If she has a headache … she’s tired. If you have a headache … you don’t love her anymore.
  • If you want it too often … you’re oversexed. If you don’t … there must be someone else.

Why do men die first? Because they want to.

Erm… Thanks tha.